Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Jim Newell Rocks, Whoever He Is

Great article on the local DC NBC affiliate news site:
D.C. Council Considers Ban On 'Blunts'
Council member suggests elimination of 1 marijuana-smoking device will eliminate marijuana
By JIM NEWELL

Washington's youths will no longer be able to smoke marijuana in their blunts, forcing them to purchase such safe products as cigarettes.

The D.C. City Council simply does not care for these "youths," on the street, smoking their marijuanas.

Ward 7 Councilmember Yvette Alexander wants to ban the sale of cheap, small cigars, usually filled with flavored tobacco, that you always see at 7-Elevens and gas stations. They are called "blunts." And according to Alexander, the tobacco within this is all taken out and filled with "cannabis." The youths smoke these monster sticks to get high, which makes them go crazy, grab their automatic weapons, and kill all humans and animals within a 500-yard radius.

All of America's children are doing this.

(Because of the Internet.)

According to the Washington Post, "Alexander said 'it's no secret' that the honey, apple and cherry-flavored cigars are bought and then stuffed with marijuana, often by young people." Indeed, this is not a secret. Another non-secret is that sometimes apples themselves are converted into marijauna-smoking devices. As of the writing of this article, apples remain legal.

The Washington Times, however, offers Alexander's full -- and much more severe -- quote:

"It's no secret that these products are used for the sole purpose of smoking marijuana," said Miss Alexander, Ward 7 Democrat, who proposed the legislation. "If we are serious about fighting drugs in our communities, we must sponsor this measure."

And with this one bill under consideration, the council could very well get rid of Washington's entire marijuana supply, forever.
Awesome.

4 Comments:

At 7:34 PM, Anonymous andrew said...

free michael phelps

 
At 10:25 AM, Anonymous heather said...

good find. that was hilarious.

 
At 7:11 PM, Anonymous Emily said...

Yes. Good find.

 
At 7:32 AM, Anonymous dinbatticus said...

sorry, jim newell sucks. he writes like an cleft minded retard.

he's got the emotional capacity of a wetnap and the i.q. of a horphed furball.

i'm sure he's a mommma's boy, stuck at home still...

and may have "special moments" if ya know what i mean, with the cat.

blah! jim newell! you suck ass! you couldn't write your way to a mcdonalds! OINK OINK OINK!

 

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