Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Worst Song In The World

Every once in a while I hear a song so bad, so vapid, so utterly lacking in musical or lyrical value, that it starts to eat away at my will to live.

The last such song that really stands out in my mind was "Cobrastyle" by Teddybears. Thankfully, I haven't heard that song in months, and the bile that used to rise in my throat every time I heard it has finally subsided.

Unfortunately, however, a new song has replaced it -- a nearly two-year old song that I had, mercifully, never heard until a couple of months ago. Then a fateful decision was made by Gold's Gym to add it to its daily (hourly?) list of songs that it plays over the PA in its gyms. I typically go to the gym five days a week. That means I hear this song five times a week. That means that five times a week I consider putting my head through the nearest sheet of glass, or hitting myself in the head repeatedly with a 25 pound dumbbell.

This song may be the most utterly valueless piece of trash I have ever heard. Somehow whoever wrote this thing managed to embody everything that's wrong with our society in the space of a three and a half minute song. I suppose there's something to be said for that achievement, but it doesn't make the song any more listenable.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "It's All About Me", by Jzabehl:

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