Parting Words

So I mentioned previously that I gave notice at my job. Unless something drastic happens (like a settlement falls apart and I end up having to go to trial in my last week at work -- knock on wood), my last day will be next Friday, April 20th. And if things go like they usually do, I'll be having some sort of going-away party next week. Can't wait.

Anyway, it's traditional for the person leaving our firm to give a farewell speech. While you'd think that most people would keep things short, you'd be wrong. Don't forget, I'm a lawyer, and I work with other lawyers. We like to talk. So instead of a 1-2 minute speech, we tend to get really long speeches. In fact, we've twice been treated to parting words lasting more than 20 minutes -- one of which was hilarious, one of which was an unending, unbearable poem. And, for better or worse, ever since the neverending poem, it's almost become expected (in a joke-y way) for people to read poems.

I'm no poet, and I'm no fan of poetry. Just ask my high school English teachers. Yet I have every intention of reading a poem at my going-away party next week. Except, of course, it won't be a real poem... it will be song lyrics. I have a few ideas so far, but haven't decided on anything yet. I'm not looking for anything particularly good -- i.e., no Dylan lyrics, no moving songs about moving on and missing those you leave behind. No, I'm looking for something that's pretty off-the-wall, that the people I work with won't understand, and that will leave them trying to decide whether I'm serious or not.

Right now I've got two songs that I really like. The first, Guided By Voices' "Game of Pricks", is actually really appropriate (for many reasons), but if I'm going to be calling people pricks, I'd prefer to do it in a more veiled manner. For those who aren't familar with the song (and really, you shouldn't admit it if that's the case):

I've waited too long to have you
Hide in the back of me
I've cheated so long I wonder
How you keep track of me

You could never be strong
You can only be free
And I never asked for the truth
But you owe that to me

I've entered the game of pricks
With knives in the back of me
Can't call you or on you no more
When they're attacking me

I'll climb up on the house
Weep to water the trees
And when you come calling me down
I'll put on my disease

You could never be strong
You can only be free
And I never asked for the truth
But you owe that to me
And I never asked for the truth
But you owe that to me
And I never asked for the truth
But you owe that to me

The second song is one that I posted a link to just yesterday. And, while you wouldn't think that the theme song to the movie Cannonball Run would be an appropriate going-away sendoff, you'd be very surprised:

What do you say when there are no words?
Feel a song that's never been heard?
How do know when you hear the call?
What do you do when you've done it all?

It's not what you do
It's how you do it.
Be anything you want to be
It's not what you got
It's how you use it
You be you
And I'll be me
It's just a matter of style
You can't fake it
Mile after mile
Feeling free
If you got the soul
you can make it
Move-em out
Let 'em roll
From sea to shining sea

What do you do if a mountain is there?
Move it.
How do you answer to a challenge today?
Take it.
When your back's against the wall?
Fake it.
What do you do when you've done it all?
Cannonball.

I'm still deciding. If you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. I also thought about using the lyrics to GBV's "A Salty Salute", but as Matt pointed out, I'd have to hold up a can of beer in a raised fist as I read it, and that might confuse people.